Torn Between Two Lovers

Oh my g! Oh my g! Nakakalooookaaah! Confusion ang peg ko today. Ang haba ba ng hair? Abot Japan? Abot Japan? Paano naman kasi, not one but two ang mahal ko these days! Charot. Sabi nga nila, bawal ka daw magsagwan sa dalawang ilog or something like that. Naturalmente! Try mo sagwanin koya. Try mo lang.

Haaay layf. Kung bakit kasi kailangan ko mag decide. According to Renz Verano, sana dalawa ang puso ko with matching husky voice pa nga eh. Ay mali. Si Janno Gibbs pala kumanta nun. Hihi. Sowee phowz. Sana nga talaga dalawa na lang din ako. Isa na kay lovey doods number one and the other one kay wishart number two. 

Ang hard kasi pumili! Naloloka ako ng very light. Let me explain kasi…

Ang love of my life ko talaga is si lovey doods number one. Paano naman kasi since birth kilala na ako niyan. Chos! Nakita niya ang dugyot days ko – si damak girl. Chubby ko pa nun pero keri lang. O sige. Overweight na. Leche. Kaso nagkahiwalay kami saglit. Mga ten years lang naman. But you know what? I still can’t believe that loveydoods waited for me. Even for a really long time! How can someone wait for ten freaking years and still embrace me in their arms as if nothing happened? How?!

Ang kaso nga lang… ten years after, I’ve changed. Sumexy na ako. Tumalino. Well matalino na talaga ako bata pa lang ako in fair. But that’s not the point. Anyway, nag-iba na ang point of views ko sa life. Natuto na akong mag-ayos ng sarili, sumuot ng mini skirt at rumampa rampa sa kalye. Jowk. Hahaha. In short, that’s when I met my wishart.

Haaay wishart. At first mygaaad talaga! Na intimidate ako ng bongga! Paano naman kasi coming from loveydoods number one, parang cannot be reached si koya. Ang pogi pogi niya tingnan sa picture. Tapos ang sosyal sosyal. Kaso nga lang may tinatago siya. Hindi naman baho. Pero parang ganun na nga.

Magkaibang magkaiba talaga sila. That’s why ang choosy ni froglet! Let me explain kasi ah. Yun eh kung gusto mo lang naman na i-explain ko. If not then gora na te!

Case study numerow unowww: Loveydoods

Kung knowing mo ang mga internet memes, siya talaga si Good Guy Greg. Kung hindi mo pa know, GMG a.k.a. i-Google mo, Gago. Hahaha. Just kidding!

I feel very sheltered whenever I’m with my love. As if there’s nothing to worry about. As if I deserve to be spoiled even though I’m very much aware that I shouldn’t be. But then it leaves me helpless. I cannot resist all the goodness. After all, it somehow feels like home. I cannot entirely claim it to be my home though, because there’s something about it that effortlessly holds me back. It’s as if you enter the most majestic room you can ever imagine yet there’s this huge lump in your throat and a loud whisper that says “something is missing”. And all of a sudden you know it’s not for you.

You know that somewhere between the lines, you shouldn’t be here. Is it because of too much goodness that I tend to rebel against it? Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been gone too long? I don’t know. I just cannot depict what’s holding me back but I’m sure there’s something. This is the part where it pains me to leave. I swear not a single morsel of my body wants to leave. Because whenever I do, it crushes me a little inside and I’d long for it more. But my instincts. Curse my instincts. They beg to disagree.

Case Study numerrow dos: Wishart

Ah. Sweet, sweet love. This one’s a tough cookie. This one’s the bitter pill, the pain in the ass. At first I found myself asking, how will I be able to love someone that doesn’t even love me back? But in the end, after all the things that have happened– I felt fulfilled. I felt empowered. I felt stronger.

I hated everything at first. I was cursing every little detail that came my way because truthfully, it was what it was- worthy of being cursed. Where I have been, nothing was the same. And the sad fact was, it was not in a good way.

Every day I longed to go back to how it was. But it was impossible. I needed to grow and I needed to move on. So move on I did. Surprisingly, I learned to love little by little. Maybe I got used to it. Maybe I just got numb. But somewhere between everything, something transpired. I finally understood the formula. It wasn't him. It was me.

I was so narrow-minded. Thinking about myself all the time, I forgot about what he felt- what he really was. And the moment I selflessly gave him the chance, I knew. He wasn’t such an asshole after all. In fact, amidst the horrible things people say about him, I realized it was because they focused on the bad and forgot about the good.

It was with him that I felt real. He was with me at my darkest times. And uplifted me by giving me the gift of finding something rare. That amidst all the chaos, there was peace, there was something genuine.  The kind of peace that I haven’t found anywhere else. Moreover, he was exciting! Oh God  knew what we've done. He was definitely a charmer. But at the same time, he was stern. His inconsistency taught me to be smart in the streets and swift at life. His valor forced me to be brave. His hard exterior inspired me to strive harder all the days of my life. Deep in me, I felt lucky. Lucky that he gave me a chance to see who he really is. And for that, I am forever grateful. However, I am not sure if I could handle everything all over again. Not when I am still at my weakest.

Conclusion

Keri lang. Iyo-yosi ko na lang.