Not being sexist here but you have to admit – stereotypes happen for a reason. I’m not implicating that they are generally true but get real. The adage “boys will always be boys” are words we know too well. And yes, I envy the male sector for having that excuse. Sometimes I don’t get the fact that men can do what they want, act like baboons for all they care and still have that sense of acceptance from the universe. While on the other hand, women have to stay prim & proper all their lives, not breaking rules just so a fine young man sees them fit for marriage. Now that men have ran off and experienced the world, I think it’s kind of unfair that women don’t get to do it as well, yes? Ugh. I wish I was a man. No. Not in a lesbo kind of way. But a straight man. And to justify what was just stated here are several of my opinions.
• Why do I have to have all these feels? “Must. Not. Feel. Anything.” Alter ego said. “Eff no, madafaca.” Hormones replied. Why do female genetics have to have all of these emotions? The usual number of feelings that my emotional capacity can handle is four; namely happiness, sadness, anger & hunger (only up to a certain extent). But noooo… there’s catty-ness, bitchy-ness, feeling alone-ness, must eat chocolate or I kill somebody-ness, blah-ness… the list never ends. Oh. And wait ‘til my hormones kick in.
• Heels are a constant reminder that it's not easy living the feminine life. Don’t get me wrong, I adore adore adooore heels. A shoe boutique to me is like candy land to a child. And just like candy, it hurts when you have too much of it. 1 hour tops on killer stilettos and I’ll be barefooted wherever, whenever. It sucks to see men with their comfortable loafers and leather shoes at formal events or parties – their feet cushioned properly, comfy and all. Tsk. But meh. Heels are pretty, right girl?
• Backbiting is a big ass B! I like how men settle the situation. They duel. Well, today it’s more of a sweaty street brawl but women do it more viciously. By using their mouths. Instead of talking behind people’s backs, let’s all make the world a better place by punching someone in the face out in the open. She stole your boyfriend, break her neck. She told your mother you’re not a virgin anymore, dislocate her knee caps. There’s no assurance that you’re not going to get injured in the process but it’s settled.
• The weight game is like Jumanji x 10! It’s exhausting, depressing, painful, nauseating, self-depreciating, horrible all at once! History and media have programmed this mindset on women that it’s pretty difficult to escape from it. One day I feel like a million bucks the next I’m cupping my belly in front of the mirror feeling bad about myself for eating that extra cup of rice. I don’t think men do not have this kind of societal pressure upon them but women have it worse I can attest. Again, hormones.
• Why must hair grow on places I don’t want them to? Shaving is an added time spent in the bathroom. I don’t want to seem scrappy and unhygienic but if given the chance, I’d like to have a five minute bath and get it over with. In addition to that, we cannot survive with just soap and shampoo. And now that there’s a body wash and shampoo in one for men, that makes it even worse!
• Whining? More like wine-ing! Writing this entire article proves the point of this bullet. Girls do have the tendency to vent out. A lot. I like how a few glasses of alcohol tames men. But now that I mentioned wine, I’m good. It’s fun being the mademoiselle. I get to complain about stuff and people will think I’m just being a girl. But be warned, I punch like a guy. ;) Cheers, love.
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